Welcome to our 'People of SYSA' series! This series is where we talk with players, coaches, administrators, parents, referees and volunteers from all across SYSA and learn a little bit about them and why they love being a part of Seattle Youth Soccer Association.
If you've ever wanted to get inside of a referee's mind, buckle up, here we go! Our interview with Duncan Munro who currently works as a Referee, Referee Mentor and is a member of the Washington State Referee Committee, covers a lot of typical officiating stuff yes, but also gives us a rare glimpse into the character development and love for the game that is behind a lot of refereeing. We hope that this dive into the world of reffing may have you looking at your next referee a little differently, and maybe even have you wanting to come out and give it a go yourself!
The beginnings of something big
Duncan started his referee journey while coaching recreational soccer at Woodland Soccer Club in the early 2000's. Both of his daughter's wanted to play soccer, so he volunteered to coach and got involved right away. A few years into it, the club asked each team to provide a referee for the recreational matches and Duncan again volunteered.
"I was an absolute disaster for my first 10 games," he says candidly. "I assumed that because I knew the game well that I would be a great referee. I was really wrong." But Duncan kept going, and fortunately, very soon after he started, crossed paths with a former National referee who gave him a few pointers.
The referee told him to just focus on these 3 things:
(1) Work hard and LOOK as if you are working hard.
(2) When you make a decision, mean it. Your 100% assured that you are getting it right, SELL IT with everything you've got.
(3) Be kind to the players. At all levels, players need empathy.
Duncan took this to heart. "To this day, I give these pieces of advice to all new referees because they are invaluable. Regardless of if you are reffing an MLS game or a U10 recreational game, you need to do all these things if you want to do your job well. Your livelihood depends on it."
Developing the next generation of refs
Around 2011, Duncan realized that he really enjoyed refereeing, to the point that he wanted to take it to next level. So he started working hard on his fitness and learning what he needed to learn. "It's just like being a player," he says. "You can work hard and get better as a referee too." In 2012, when his daughters decided to leave soccer to play competitive volleyball, Duncan found himself with a lot more time on his hands. He started attending state level events where referees go to improve their skill and broaden their community. He found success there, at the state level, and then started to get invited to even bigger regional events.
Because Duncan had come to refereeing later in life, he knew he would not be able to keep climbing. He knew he had the personal skills to manage a game but not the physical skills. While he would have liked to continue expanding and exploring reffing at the highest levels, he had always also had an interest in training others, so he choose a different course. He took all the knowledge he had been gaining over the years, both on the field and in the organizational structure to support refs, and began instructing and training new referees. He started in 2014 and has now been doing this for 10 years and he absolutely loves it.
"We do everything we can to help them. We do video analysis, we walk them through the decision making processes, we mentor them on the field - both at the local level and at the state level,” says Duncan. “And as we develop referees and spend time with them, we start to see what their natural personality and tendencies are and then we work with them to fill in the areas that we know will be challenging to them.
“We really tailor the referee training experience to who they are because we want them to be successful." - Duncan munro
Training refs is challenging with the wide spectrum of abilities and personalities across a variety of ages, but with leadership from the State Director of Instruction and their thoughtful development of curricula tailored to different levels of officiating, and really putting in a lot of emphasis on inspiring and motivating the next generation of refs, he finds that he loves what he does.
The immense value of refereeing
"Refereeing has been unbelievably enriching in my own life," says Duncan, reflecting back over the years.
"I remember sometime in like 2016, my boss asked me what I was doing differently outside of work because she said she had noticed lately that my communication skills were much improved." Duncan worked in software development at the time and said that when his boss mentioned this to him, he was able to recognize just how much refereeing had been helping him develop and progress, even in his career. " I didn't really appreciate the importance of good communication skills until I was heavily into reffing."
In addition to communication leaps, Duncan has gained in so many areas of his life. He says that there are 3 things he always tells people about the immense value of refereeing:
It brings you a richer and deeper developmental experience as a person than you could ever image.
You get to contribute to the development of soccer locally AND the development of soccer nationally.
All the yelling from the sidelines is white noise, and the noise doesn't matter. Nobody is yelling at you, they are yelling AT THE UNIFORM. This experience will help you in conflict in other areas of your life. It's all about growth.
Duncan says he is actually pretty thin skinned in his normal life, but refereeing has helped him learn to LISTEN at a much deeper level.
"When I'm out there reffing and people are yelling, I'm just listening for nuggets of wisdom in the yelling. And there are actually some in there, believe it or not." - DUNCAN Munro
In fact, he said recently he reffed a game with a center ref who had given one of the younger refs some great advice that supported this. "He said we never argue with people's opinions. Let the opinion flow out of the tap until it runs dry. Most people on the sideline aren't seeking feedback. So we just hear them, we hear what they are saying, we let it flow out of them."
Want to become a referee in the Seattle area?
Majority of new refs right now are in their early teens, 13 or 14. Duncan's best advice for parents of teenagers interested in reffing is to thoughtfully consider if this would be a good venture for their child or not. "You know your kid better than anyone else, many kids absolutely flourish in this environment and become even more thoughtful, reflective, more mature. Other kids can be traumatized by the experience and don't come back after their first cycle. It's a difficult job for the teenage brain, lots of multitasking on different levels. Some kids are OK with this and thrive, some do not."
While Duncan and his training staff love that so many young people are coming out wanting to ref, he is also very transparent about the gap that exists for the older age groups. "Ever since the pandemic, our 40-60 age group has become severely depleted, and because of that, we do not have enough referees to cover the U15 - U18 games." Games must be officiated by referees older than the players, so the 13 and 14 year old influx doesn't help the situation for our older players.
In regards to encouraging adults to try out refereeing, Duncan brings up something interesting. He says that the average soccer parent most likely is not aware of the richness of this opportunity, not just as a way to support their kid's team, but as a way to enrich THEIR OWN LIFE.
"Reffing can be about YOU. You can create an identity for yourself, separate from your kid, inside of a sport you love. You don't have to just ref because your kid's team needs someone to volunteer. You can for sure, we'll take it, but you can do this for YOURSELF as well." - DUNCAN Munro
While on the surface level, refereeing may seem like something where you are just getting yelled at each week, once you dive in you will find that it's actually a much deeper, complex and enriching experience than that. Yes, there are extremely difficult moments, as with anything. But those moments are also the moments that provide deep personal growth opportunities and creation of community. "When we have hard games, afterwards we all get together, shake hands, work through things, talk to our mentors, our mentees, the coaches, the players. We create community, we grow together and as individuals," says Duncan.
Visit https://www.wareferees.org/ for information on available refereeing clinics in the Seattle area. Questions about reffing? Email Duncan at duncaninseattle@gmail.com
